Hahahaha

One of the nice things about coming to work on Monday (perhaps the only nice thing in fact) is catching up on all the blogs that I haven't bothered reading over the weekend and that I usually haven't had time to read last Friday. I get my Wonderella comic (this week was not so good), a few good Cyanide and Happiness strips and, all going well, some other random bits and bobs that help put me in a good mood. Today I logged in to Google Reader and found this video on HYF's blog. I have no idea what it's about but it IS hilarious - I particularly liked the co-ordination behind the baseball game at the end! (You have to watch the whole thing to really appreciate it). I was tempted to turn it off after the first minute and a half out of sheer embarrassment (watching it at my desk) but I'm glad I stuck with it - I must have laughed at least once every twenty seconds ^_^

Happy Monday everyone! ^_^

Query

What's the oddest compliment you've ever received? I get all sorts from my students, and co-workers, including my favourite "you have a really cool nose!", but the one that's made me laugh (read spit out my water and sputter) the most recently was this:

"Individually, the features of your face are nothing special. But when you put them all together they look really good!"

Also...


Love this [troll]face. ಠ_ಠ

Which was kind of the face I made upon hearing that compliment before bursting into laughter and trying not to cry at the same time.

That is all. Haha^^

O_O

You know, I just realised that my co-teacher compared me to a disabled person earlier today when I was fumbling with the lock on our staffroom door and trying to close it with one hand. Maybe it was just co-incidence that she started telling me a story about disabled people when I was doing it... ? Dunno. Haha, weird day :)

Bits and bobs to finish the week.

Ok first of all, something always guaranteed to make blog authors smile - the weird stuff that people who visit your site put into search engines that get them directed to your blog. The weirdest this week? "just one happy smiley face black leather watch silver trim". I have no idea when the hell I've even mentioned a watch, much less happy smiley faces. Anyway, that aside - it's Friday! Huzzah!

So onto actual content. As mentioned earlier, I tried the Face Shop's foot peeling treatment, but forgot to post photos along with all the bitching I was doing about how leprous my feet looked. So you don't suspect me of exaggeration (and because I like grossing people out), this is a genuine picture of my foot on day 6 after the treatment. Keep in mind that this was AFTER I'd been wearing socks all day and had just also tried to rub off the worst of it. Gross right?

...teehee, don't say I never give you anything ^_^

Anyway, the next is the Southern Hemisphere Summer Christmas party I went to a couple of weeks ago. After bitching about all the snow and low temperatures we'd had to suffer last December, a bunch of Kiwis, an Aussie (me) and some Saffas (a word I've never heard before coming to Korea that South Africans use to each other), as well as some token Northern Hemispherians, had a rollicking good Summer picnic in a park pagoda, even with the unfortunate addition of up to 2 metres of rainfall that weekend. We even had some unexpected entertainment in watching two drunk guys pee in some bushes, as one of them very courteously held an umbrella over his mate, getting a good eyeful of his junk while doing so.

And last but not least to be covered, my blog wouldn't be my blog if it weren't for the crazies that are my students. In my classroom there are two sets of switches. The top one, two sets of three buttons, is the light switch. The bottom one, three sets of two buttons are the fans. The average time it takes for my students to work out which ones are which? 4.5 minutes. Keeping in mind that a) there are 6 fans in my classroom, b) when I come in I usually have to turn the lights on because for some reason they like to sit in the dark until I rock up and c) the bloody lights are pretty damn obvious whether they are on or not, this was a worthy achievement. I actually thought it was just the boys (three of my first year boys actually took about 8 minutes to figure it out while I laughed helplessly in the corner), but then today someone in class 2-4 (average level girls) had a crack at it and gave up after about 2 minutes, complaining that it was too hard. IT'S A FREAKIN' LIGHT SWITCH, NOT A NUCLEAR FISSION REACTOR! I took pity on them and did it for them, but they couldn't understand why I was trying not to giggle (cue usual chorus of "왜ㅐㅐㅐㅐㅐ [why] teacher???"). As my neighbour Edithe often hears me say, my students this year are really stupid ...special. Poor things. I am also loving the fact that I have been applauded for every lesson this week at least once because I'm letting them watch movies - class 1-6 (boys) this morning actually gave me a standing ovation and four of them told me that they loved me. It's a nice change from yesterday when I had to tell Man-Seok in class 1-7 to get out of the girl's bathrooms, then tell him put his socks and shoes back on and stop lying on the table, and then have a talk to him TWICE about why you shouldn't say "kiss me!" to teachers and blow kisses at them. Oh and apparently the PG13 (or whatever) movie "Stardust" is an "adult" movie, according to class 1-7, who were scandalised at the afore-mentioned kissing, naked shoulders and bath scene where you see Claire Danes' shoulders and bare legs below the knee. Mind you, they are also the only class who noticed the word "ero movie = soft porn" on the Konglish vocabulary curtain at the back that I usually have rolled up to cover it (why that was necessary for middle-schoolers I have no idea) and spent the first three minutes of class running around yelling out, so the idea was probably already imprinted in their fragile (*cough cough*) little minds before the movie started. Anyway, I'm not sure why the second years seem so surprised that I'm letting them watch movies as it's exactly the same thing I did last year after exams, but it's nice that they appreciate the fact that I want to do work just about as much as they do. Haha, simple pleasures &c maybe?

Oh and something else that made me giggle - answers to the English exam, or rather, one boy's unique approach to answering the questions. Warning, if you comment on this and try to turn something that's supposed to be some light-hearted whimsy to brighten your day into a serious discussion, for example, on how crappy language learning in Asia is compared to Australia or vice versa I WILL hunt you down and batter you to death with a copy of whatever foreign language textbook I have close to hand.

2nd year English exam questions (in Korean):
1. [Susan is 13 years old, Tom is 11. Write a comparative sentence].
2. 빵 한 덩어리 is ...?
3. [Finish this sentence in English]: Study hard...

Answers:
1. Susan is older than Tom/Tom is younger than Susan.
2. A loaf of bread
3. .. and you will ace your final exam.

Dong-Wook's answers:
1. GO! GO! LIGHTNING FAST RUN!!!!!!!
2. Hey Negro! What's up man? Oh... that bad say, right teacher??? (They didn't know that I was marking these, but this is something I continually tell them off about so it's good to see it stuck)
3. The END! I not know nothing!!!! SORRY TEACHER HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Haha ^_^ Oh Dong-Wook. I spend most lessons with his class telling him to shut up or sit down, but you can't say he doesn't try.

Love and marriage in Korea

Double-post day - demanding, I know! But actually the last post was from last Thursday, I just never got around to publishing it on the day. Once you read it, hopefully you'll understand why I had to post again.

First things first, this is not and never will be a dating blog. My parents and other family friends read this blog, so while there are a few dating blogs by foreigners in Korea that I enjoy reading, I don't intend to follow in their fairly candid footsteps. But there are some things that deserve a mention, and one of these things is the blind date. Upon meeting someone, the first thing a Korean person will ask you is your age and whether you are married or not. Sometimes if you're a foreigner, this aspect will excite more curiousity and they'll ask you where you're from first or second after enquiring about your age, but usually it cannot compete with the mystery of your relationship status. Now I don't know about anyone else but if someone at home was asking this question straight off the bat I'd assume that they were interested in the person that they were asking about, so it took me a while to become comfortable enough with this question to just answer it straight away without looking embarrassed and I still find it a weird question to open a conversation with.

So back to the story - I rocked up to school at 9 to find everyone standing outside in the yard for an assembly. Normally I start half an hour later twice a week to compensate for the extra half hour at the end of the day that I teach so that the time falls within my contractual 8 hour day/22 teaching hours and the school doesn't have to pay me extra (which I am fine with! I do love my sleep^^) If there's something important on of course I'll come at the regular time.. as long as I know about it. Which today I did not. As I'd have to walk past everyone to go inside I just waited it out and went up to one of the teachers standing near the entrance to ask what was going on. He very nicely explained that it was the welcoming ceremony for the new student teachers. There was a pause. Then came the age/marriage question. Now I haven't ever actually talked to this teacher before and I don't even know his name - he's one of the new ones this year and I'm not in the main office any more so I'm not as obvious as I was  last year. But somehow I managed to make a good enough impression on him in the space of about three minutes (two of which we stood in silence) and with one sentence for him to offer to set me up on a blind date. And not only a blind date, but a blind date with his only son. As a dad and not his wingman friend it's pretty safe to say that this will be the kind of date where you suss each other out as potential husband/wife (the Korean approach to dating is another often discussed subject, but to summarise, it's basically with the goal of marriage very firmly in sight rather than the Western style where establishing the relationship comes before you consider where it might lead to). Apparently this boy is 31, 184cm tall and works at a company near Cheongju University. OK. However, when I asked if this marvelous son spoke any English, his dad laughed and said "Why would he need to speak English? You speak Korean." I answered that it can be hard to express myself in Korean because I'm still learning, but apparently this is something I'll grow out of, so I have a dinner date sometime with this son (whose name I also do not know).

So that was a funny start to the morning and it made me smile a little at the randomness of Korean life. I wondered if perhaps this had happened because the teacher couldn't think of anything else to say.

Apparently that wasn't it because another teacher, Ms Yu, also offered to set me up on a blind date with her friend's younger brother after lunch. But at least this was a more conventional occasion - we'd actually talked before and she waited until we were having tea in the office and were chatting about random things to ask me if I was married. And she also understood about the language barrier problem. Moral of the story: women are much better at these things than men. (DUHHHH!)

Anyway, the last funny marriage-related thing today is a message that one of the teachers sent through our school's messenger system. Apparently an ajumma put this ad in a newspaper offering her husband for sale. Here's a rough translation (trying to keep the sale tone).


 남편 팝니다. [Husband for sale]
 사정상 급매합니다. [Sale due to circumstances]
 ㅇㅇㅇㅇ년 △월 □예식장에서 구입했습니다. [Was purchased in/Married since ㅇㅇㅇㅇ]
 한때 아끼던 물건(♥) 이었으나 유지비도 많이 들고
 성격장애가 와 급매합니다. [Was once a well-loved product, but now must sell due to high maintenance and personality incompatability]
 구입 당시 A급인 줄 착각해서 구입했습니다. [Mistook the goods for A-grade quality at time of purchase]
 마음이 바다 같은 줄 알았는데 잔소리가 심해서
 사용시 만족감이 떨어집니다. [Thought his heart was as deep as the ocean but due to increasing nagging product has become less satisfying with use]
 음식물 소비는 동급의 두 배입니다. [(Also) consumes twice the normal amount of food]
 다행히 외관은 아직 쓸 만합니다. [Luckily his outer appearance is still quite impressive]
 AS 안 되고, 변심에 의한 반품 또한 절대 안 됩니다. [No after service ofference, and will not take returns if you change your mind]
 덤으로 시어머니도 드립니다. [Comes with mother-in-law add-on]


Haha ^_^